I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve experienced my fair share of pain, especially during my younger years. It’s not a pleasant feeling. Therefore, I naturally strive to avoid adding to someone’s suffering. However, I must address a question: “Is it always possible to avoid causing pain?” The answer is no. There are instances when the loving thing to do is painful. As Proverbs 27:6 states, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” What does this mean? The Bible also emphasizes that a friend loves at all times Proverbs 17:17, but true love sometimes requires candor and even bluntness.
Consider a scenario where a man was driving through the mountains late at night. A storm had washed out a bridge ahead. Authorities quickly set up barricades and warning signs, but the relentless rain and wind caused many of them to collapse. A nearby resident noticed headlights approaching the road. Knowing the bridge was gone, he grabbed a flashlight and dashed into the road, frantically waving his arms. As the car drew nearer, the driver became agitated. “What’s wrong with this guy?” “Why is he yelling and waving at me?” The resident stood directly in the road, forcing the driver to halt. The man then exclaimed, “The bridge is out just ahead!” Suddenly, the driver’s anger transformed into gratitude.
Love can exist in various forms, such as a comforting hug or encouraging words. However, it can also take a more direct approach, standing in the road and saying, “Stop!” A true friend may say things that you don’t want to hear. They might tell you, “Your marriage is in trouble,” “You’re headed down a dangerous path,” “Your attitude is hurting people,” or “You need to come back to God.” As one leader put it, “The deepest form of love is not affirmation of everything I do; it is caring enough about me to tell me the truth when my life is headed toward a cliff.”